Unconditioned Confidence

My Conditional Confidant,

 

The way you critique the words on my breath

I diminish in wondering do they smell unpleasant?

Trying to prove blue when merely pale and grey

should I feel ashamed for having an ordinary face?

Impulsive, self respect’s spent.

Is low level intimacy a precursor to quality’s death?

 

My Conditional Confidant,

 

I embody the fears you engendered in me

a generational gap of self fulfilling prophecy.

Teach me unfounded dread,

I’ll find it a reason every place I seek.

A learned avoidance of assertion through opportunity,

you blame it on my being so meek.

 

My Conditional Confidant,

 

I am short and growing shorter

with every sold idea I feign having value to me.

I purchase them with currency woven of the bits of her

you help bite off continually.

Within this conditional self defeat

I’ll get her back-

I have a secret;

I’ve kept the receipts!